July 15, 2008 -- First off, I believe it was the great 20th century thinker Ron Burgundy who once said, "Bark twice if you're in Milwaukee." He was trying to communicate with his beloved pooch, Baxter, whom he hoped was on the other end of the phone line. (He wasn't. On the phone or in Wisconsin.)

Kenny Perry's plan to make the Ryder Cup team is working out just fine. (Photo: Getty Images)

Unlike Baxter, Kenny Perry is in Milwaukee, which is not a Channel 4 News Team exclusive on the order of Nutty the Water-Skiing Squirrel. But it is big news in the golf world, which gives you a pretty good idea of how little there is to talk about with Tiger Woods convalescing on the couch with his remote control and Sudoku. In fact, it's kind of big news that it's big news. It's not often that anyone outside the Perry home or the Greater Milwaukee Convention and Visitors Beer-eau pays particular attention to the goings-on of either the man or the city.

What has so many among the golf cognoscenti yapping is that Perry is skipping this week's British Open in favor of the U.S. Bank Championship in Brew City, which is roughly the golf equivalent of swapping a magnum of Dom Perignon for a six pack of warm Schlitz. Even after Sunday's win at the John Deere, Perry wrote a Dear John to the R&A, informing that organization's powers-that-be that he was forgoing the Open Championship primarily because of a letter he'd written much earlier.

You have to consider that the roots of this dilemma are buried in the winter of 2007. Perry ended last season 79th on the money list, good enough to keep his Tour card but not to have a guaranteed spot in any of this year's major championships. So at 47, in the autumn of a solid, if not spectacular, career, the quiet Kentuckian began this year with a solitary goal for the fall of 2008: qualify for the U.S. Ryder Cup team at Valhalla in Louisville, just up the road from his home in Franklin. So he built his schedule around those venues where he felt he'd play the best and, thus, earn Cup points. Turns out some of those have been ones sandwiching majors or -- in the case of the U.S. Bank event in the Dairy State -- the slice of cheese on top of the meatier tournament of the same week, i.e. the Open Championship at Royal Birkdale. Knowing how much an early commitment helps organizers in the promotion of their tournaments, Perry went ahead and made reservations at several Tour stops, including Milwaukee where he's a past champion.

Though conceived in winter, Perry proved his plan was well-thawed out by spring when he lost a playoff in Atlanta before winning twice in June. The latest evidence of his global warming was Sunday at the John Deere Classic in the Quad Cities of Iowa and Illinois where his playoff victory over Jay Williamson and Brad Adamonis moved him to 16th in the world golf rankings, up from 92nd place where he sat during his winter of discontent.

For some, Perry's is an inconvenient truth. Sure, he told the U.S. Bank Championship he'd be there, but that was before he not only played his way into a spot at the Open but became the hottest healthy player in golf with three wins in his last five events. They'd understand, given the circumstances, if he changed his mind. In fact, in Wisconsin they're kind of used to their professional athletes reversing course these days.

What many don't understand is exactly what truth, however inconvenient, means to Perry, a dedicated follower of Christ whose pulpit is a golf course and whose sermons reflect his preference to speak softly and carry big sticks. As incredulous as some may be that he'd skip a major championship to fulfill a commitment to a smaller event, his track record says the real surprise would've been had Perry gone back on his word. This is the same guy who 20 years ago agreed to pay back a $5,000 Q School loan by donating 5% of his future earnings to Lipscomb University in nearby Nashville, Tennessee. Sunday's win put Perry over the $25 million dollar mark in career cash, which is ninth all-time and -- more importantly for the comptroller's office on the campus flanked by Belmont Boulevard and Granny White Pike -- brings Lipscomb's windfall to a cool $1.25 mil. Not counting whatever he withdraws from the U.S. Bank this week.

Common sense would suggest it's okay to quit cutting checks when you've repaid a debt 250 times over. But for Kenny Perry, truth may be inconvenient or expensive, but it obviously isn't situational.

There'll be 48 candles on Perry's birthday cake come Sunday, August 10th, the same day the PGA Championship concludes. Circumstances don't always cooperate like Hollywood scripts. But as generous and content with his blessings as he's been through the years, how ironic would it be if Perry celebrated by winning the only major he'll play in this year? The icing on that cake would be serving as the U.S. team's Ryder Cup Anchorman in front of the home folks a month later.

Perry's critics, on either side of the Atlantic, can howl all they want. From where I sit, it's all bark and no bite.

Grant Boone is a husband, father, broadcaster, and journalist born in Tennessee and living in Texas. During his nearly 20 years in sports journalism, he's been heard on tape delay in pizza joints half-filled with fully-drunk beer league softball teams and around the world covering major sporting events for ESPN, Turner Sports, Golf Channel, and CBS Radio. To read past installments of Grant Me This, click here. You can contact Grant at mailto:pgagrant@hotmail.com