June 11, 2008 -- First off, be aware that this edition of GMT may be interrupted if and when Big Brown ever actually crosses the finish line at Belmont Park. Saturday's Stakes went to Da'Tara while Big Brown was simply Da'Terrible in its attempt to become horse racing's first Triple Crown winner in 30 years.

With apologies to Meat Loaf -- the singer, not the entrée -- two outta three ain't good. Especially when Big Brown's owner Rick Dutrow had spent the three weeks between the Preakness and Belmont running around like Boss Hogg, right down to the drawl, guaranteeing victory despite his horse's cracked hoof and acknowledging rather nonchalantly that Big Brown is (albeit legally) on the juice.

Dutrow was slightly more chalant after Saturday's meltdown in the Big Apple swelter.

If we've learned anything in the last century of watching sports, it's this: American men can't play soccer; East Germany's female Olympians weren't half of who we thought they were; and nothing in the athletic arena is ever guaranteed, even if you're Boss Hogg and Rosco P. Coltrane is firing the final gun. Call it an occupational Hazzard: picking winners, even for the so-called experts, is easy; getting it right is a horse of a different color.

Lorena Ochoa's been the safest bet in sports, teeing it up as the odds-on favorite in every LPGA event she's played this season. And she's rarely disappointed. There she was again last Friday at the McDonald's LPGA Championship in Maryland, bullying Bulle Rock around in a 65 that proved to be the best score of the day by two and would match the lowest of the entire tournament. Of the five players within three shots of Ochoa going into the weekend, only two (Lorie Kane and Rachel Hetherington) had ever won and neither of them since 2003. Ochoa was golf's Grande Marron, looking every bit the lock just outside Baltimore that Big Brown was at Belmont Park.

But a third-round 72 left Ochoa two lengths behind Jee Young Lee, one behind Maria Hjorth, and neck-and-neck with the player she'd supplanted as the world's top-ranked player, Annika Sorenstam. The smart money Sunday was on either the past or present number one. And either could've won it outright with something sub 70 in the final round. Neither did. Ochoa and Sorenstam shot matching 71s which opened a door that rookie Yani Tseng entered after winning a four-hole playoff with Hjorth.

Gone (for this year anyway) is the opportunity for Grand Slam glory for Ochoa, who'd won the first major of the ladies' season, and a fitting Grand Finale for the three-time LPGA Championship winner Sorenstam, who'll retire at season's end.

At least Ochoa's Slam bid made it out of April. Many prognosticators, including Nick Faldo of Golf Channel and CBS, were on record that Tiger Woods would sweep all four of this year's majors. The buzz reached its crescendo when Woods rolled in that dramatic 72nd hole birdie at Bay Hill to keep his 2008 record unblemished at 4-0 worldwide. It was a tacit compliment to Woods' greatness that people were so casually discussing the notion that someone could do merely what no one ever had before, i.e. win the four modern majors in the same season.

Few blinked when Woods couldn't get it done in the damp at Doral a week after Bay Hill. But at the Masters, which he'd won four times before and where in 2001 he completed the Tiger Slam by winning a fourth consecutive major championship, Woods couldn't even get his 2008 Grand Slam aspirations to first base. An uncooperative putter betrayed solid ball striking as he finished second to Trevor Immelman.

Woods enters this week's U.S. Open on a course (Torrey Pines) he grew up playing and where he's won more than he's lost as a pro (six wins in 11 tries). But he goes to the post a bit like Big Brown at the Belmont: the prohibitive favorite with a bum leg. It'll be his first event since having knee surgery two days after the Masters.

When it comes to winning all four majors, only Immelman has a leg to stand on, this year anyway. The young South African steps to the plate with one on but absolutely no expectations from the golf cognoscenti that he's truly capable of taking a Slam deep. Or even past Sunday.

Of course, given that group's track record of soothsaying, perhaps Immelman should merit even more serious consideration in your Open office pool. Or maybe -- as Ty Webb told Carl Spackler -- the pond would be better for you, at least as it pertains to reading this week's tee leaves. The Tigerfish may be the biggest in the pond, but when the USGA bluebloods begin stirring the waters -- as they invariably do -- the percentages say go with one of the other critters. Like last year, when a Duck, Angel "El Pato" Cabrera, waddled out of Oakmont and stuck Tiger with the bill.

So go easy on the guarantees if you're a fan of the world's best player. Tiger Woods is clearly the boss, having hogged the major championship limelight in his 11-plus years as a pro. But all bets are off once they tee it up Thursday. That's the mystery and the majesty of the U.S. Open. And it's why all of us as golf fans, in one voice, echo the signature sentiment of Sheriff Coltrane: "Coo coo coo! I love it! I love it!"

Grant Boone is a husband, father, broadcaster, and journalist born in Tennessee and living in Texas. During his nearly 20 years in sports journalism, he's been heard on tape delay in pizza joints half-filled with fully-drunk city league softball teams and around the world covering major sporting events for ESPN, Turner Sports, Golf Channel, and CBS Radio. To read past installments of Grant Me This, click here. You can contact Grant at pgagrant@hotmail.com.