March 27 -- First off, I'd like to clarify something: I do NOT write each week's GMT under heavy sniper fire as I previously suggested. As Hillary put it, "I say a million words a day. So if I misspoke, that was just a misstatement." Thank you, misClinton, who went on to apologize for remarks about a 1996 trip to Bosnia if she said "something that made it seem as though there was actual fire." You be the judge: "I remember landing under sniper fire." Some have accused Clinton of intentionally misrepresenting the truth; others have downplayed the remarks, including Roger Clemens, who says the senator may have simply misremembered.

Second, a frightened nation sleeps easier tonight knowing the Barbie Bandits have been brought to justice. Monday, a judge in Atlanta sentenced a pair of 19-year-old strippers convicted of holding up a suburban bank last February despite being armed with little more than a pair of tweezers and an eye pencil. Ashley Miller got two years jail time and Heather Lyn Johnston was given 10 years probation plus community service. (GMT has learned Johnston has volunteered to organize a "See You at the Pole" rally for her fellow business associates on Election Day.) At least Johnston has seen the error of her ways -- if not her sentence structure -- saying that if she hadn't been caught, she'd be "dead or just not good off."

The entire caper came off like a case they'd let you crack at Law Enforcement Fantasy Camp. The women, each cleverly disguised in a pair of oversized sunglasses, handed a note demanding money to a bank teller who was working as an accomplice in the heist. The getaway strategy included a shopping spree at a couple of swanky malls and a quick trip to the salon to get highlights. The lowlight came a couple of days later when authorities apprehended them after a short car chase near Six Flags Over Georgia where they all stopped for corn dogs and funnel cakes before heading downtown for the booking. Bin Laden's days on the lam are surely numbered.

This case has challenged the conventional wisdom that it's a good career move for young girls to skip college to become exotic dancers. And though they've tried to distance themselves from the negative publicity, there is speculation that this picture of Johnston was the inspiration behind Mattel's new Mug Shot Barbie.

Of course, conventional wisdom is itself under fire after the goings-on at Doral over the weekend and week-beginning. A surprisingly weak middle -- a third round 72 -- was the chief culprit in arresting Tiger Woods' win streak at five Monday at the rain-delayed CA Championship.

It wasn't just that Woods was even par in that third round on a course where his average score the previous 14 rounds was 67.3. It was that the rest of the field turned the Blue Monster red. While Woods was treading figurative water and dodging real rain showers, there were a pair of 63s, a couple of 64s, and three 66s, dropping Tiger from second to seventh. On the day that marks the greatest comeback of all time, Woods would mount no Easter rally. A too-little-too-late 68 Sunday afternoon and Monday morning wasn't enough to catch eventual champion Geoff Ogilvy, who beat Jim Furyk, Vijay Singh, and Retief Goosen by one shot and Woods by two.

The only streak Tiger extended at Doral was blue. On the par three 9th hole Sunday, before darkness halted final round play for the day, a photographer and Woods both snapped -- the former with his camera on Woods' downswing and the latter in a profanity-laced outburst after his distracted tee shot sailed left of the green and nearly into the water, leading to a buzz-killing bogey. As he walked from the 9th green to the 10th tee, Woods reportedly yelled to no one in particular, "The next time a photographer shoots a (expletive) picture, I'm gonna break his (expletive) neck!"

(I'm pretty sure he wouldn't actually make good on such a promise in real life, but I wouldn't be surprised to see "Attack Media" as a bonus feature on Tiger Woods PGA Tour '09.)

When confronted about his apoplexy in an interview with ESPN, Woods channeled his inner Clinton. First, he blamed his reaction on the photographer, saying the early click and subsequent poor shot interrupted his momentum after a birdie at the 8th. Fair enough. But when pressed specifically about his anger, Woods chalked it up to the heat of the moment. At no point in the TV or print interviews (or his website) that I've seen since Monday has he expressed any remorse for what he did.

Now if any day calls for forgiveness, it's Easter. After all, it's not like Tiger put on a pair of oversized sunglasses and robbed a bank. In fact, that explosion Sunday and ones like it over the last few years are fueled by the same energy that drives Woods to do things no golfer has ever done before. And for sure, the guilty shooter ought to have his or her press credentials revoked.

But at some point -- no matter how great he is or how many tournaments in a row he's won -- even Tiger Woods has to be held accountable for his actions. Scorecards serve that function on the course. Woods didn't live up to his own lofty playing expectations in round three, and it cost him the tournament. Sunday afternoon, he failed to meet the personal standards befitting of the world's best player, and his behavior merits some kind of reprimand by the Tour.

So Tiger, consider yourself called out, but know these last three things:

1) I'll always give you honest, constructive criticism for your sake in hopes that someday you'll look back and realize it was accountability that kept you -- like the Barbie Bandits -- from being just not good off.

2) If there's something I've written -- even in this paragraph -- that made it seem as if I was criticizing you, remember I've written over a thousand words in this column. So if I misspoke, that was just a misstatement. And,

3) Snipers! AAAAAHHHHH!