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Grant Me This

Halloween costumes tell the tale of how good your year was

- PGA.com

How do you know what's "in" in 2007? The tale of the costumes are always a good barometer. Who showed up at your door is a good way to determine who had a good or interesting year according to columnist Grant Boone.

By Grant Boone, Special to PGA.com

First off, with half of southern California still smoldering, it's comforting to wander through the movie section at Target and see DVDs like this one? (Ironically, that's pretty much the same face he's been making for the last three weeks.)

With Arnold Schwarzenegger still dressed up as California governor, here's a recap of the best Halloween costumes of 2007:

Tiger -- Not the traditional orange with black stripes and a tail. This kid wore a black hat, bright red shirt, and white tape around his fingers. Way ahead of the other boys. Wound up with the biggest bag of candy, which was carried by a Kiwi who didn't mind getting physical with anyone causing distractions.

Bikini Model -- Major supplier of eye candy to the neighborhood boys in years past. Finally found her way to the front of the line for some treats of her own this year.

Walruses -- This was cute: a father and son wearing the same costume. In fact, you could hardly tell them apart. The kid went to the last house with the 127th biggest bag of candy, hoping to move up two spots so he could trick-or-treat on the same block next year.

Black Knight -- An older, smaller kid but in great shape. Wouldn't eat any of the candy with processed sugar and sometimes stopped between houses to do sit-ups. Got everyone's attention when he accused some of the youngsters of washing down their candy with juice. Didn't name names.

Invisible Man -- Actually, it was the Invisible Girl. Tough to tell, being that she was invisible and all. Used to be the best on the block. Injured this year, didn't get a single treat. What she did get -- a diamond ring on her left finger -- still has her googly-eyed.

Loose Cannon -- This was the most creative outfit of the night. It was a boy wearing camo pants, going really fast, and constantly taunting the kid in the Tiger costume, who occasionally looked back with a chuckle and suggested he compare the size of their sacks.

Charo -- Saw this one on Flight 1307 from Nashville to LAX. The costume looked so real, I went up and tried to rip off her mask -- Scooby-Doo style -- only to discover that it was the actual Cuchi-Cuchi girl, herself. Zoiks!

King -- As always, regally attired. Couldn't get around as well as in previous years. But all the other kids, including the Tiger, gave him a little bit of everything they took in.

Cell Phone -- Specifically a Samsung model, this kid kept taking girls' candy and leaving it on Annika Sorenstam's porch. (Escorted by LPGA moms.)

Duck -- Quacked softly but carried a big stick. Unknown by most on the block. But right out in the Open, he took a major treat out of the Tiger's bag.

Pink Panther -- New kid on the block a couple of years ago, now a fixture among the big girls. Unafraid to elbow her way to the front of the line and mix it up with the out-of-towners. Always one of the boys' favorite costumes.

Daredevil -- Left-handed kid with a constant grin, asked a lot of questions. Wound up with the second biggest bag, in part because he took too many risky shortcuts through the neighborhood. Skipped a house when he didn't like the kind of candy they were passing out.

Mexican Jumping Bean -- Worn by a young Hispanic girl, beautiful inside and out. Seemed to be well-liked by fellow trick-or-treaters. Would've ended up with even more goodies if she hadn't so often spilled her bag at the end of the street.

PGA Tour Playoffs -- Least convincing costume of the night. When it came by my house, I gave it those nasty quasi-peanut butter globs in the black and orange wrappers.

Goose -- Quiet kid. Feathers not easily ruffled. In previous years, he racked up, especially at the bigger houses. Barely covered the bottom of his bag this year.

Minor League Dad -- Another one from the Nashville airport. Twenty-something dude wearing a Major League Pimps t-shirt, complete with the trademark naked girl silhouette, traveling with preschool-aged son. For the sake of the kid and the women he'll encounter as he gets older, let's hope his father grows up at some point, too.

Pig Pen -- An absolute mess in his Razorback duds, this kid mainlined cigarettes and Diet Cokes in between chocolate binges. Still a big hit with everyone on the block.

Cardinal -- College freshman not afraid to ask for a handout. Potentially the best costume I'd ever seen, but the poor girl kept tripping over herself, literally and figuratively. Parents never left her side.

PGA Tour Members -- There are 25 Nationwide Tour players this weekend near San Diego who'll be fitted for these costumes, which they'll wear for the entire 2008 season.

Golf Channel Announcer -- I'll wear that outfit one last time this weekend. But don't worry. As the guy in the governor suit once said, I'll be back.

Grant Boone is a husband, father, golf broadcaster, and sports journalist based in Abilene, Texas. His column appears on PGA.com each Wednesday and every day during major championships and other big events. He can be contacted at pgagrant@hotmail.com.

The views and opinions expressed here do not reflect those of PGA.com or The PGA of America.

 
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